This is serious business....raising boys

My best friend, Adrienne, has two boys - Aidan, 3 years, and Keegan, 14 months (almost). Her boys are like mine....active, energetic, full of life, strong-willed, lovable and sweet. We have had great fun getting the boys together.....and she has served as my life-line in all areas of my life for close to 20 years. The other day she called and told me about an article she read in the Chicago Magazine, Boy Trouble and the conversation has been replaying in my mind over and over and over. We talked about the educational, societal and emotional crisis that boys may be experiencing. I have been familiar with these thoughts/theories and some of the movements/studies/books that are addressing these concerns. Through my readings of The War Against Boys: How Misguided Feminism Is Harming Our Young Men by Christina Hoff Sommers and Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Lives of Boys by Dan Kindlon and Michael Thompson, as well as the Raising Cain PBS special, I am aware of the concerns and do worry about my own boys as they grow to become men. These books do address valid concerns and may be resources that could provide assistance to parents, and myself, in raising our boys. I plan on purchasing the most current book, The Trouble With Boys by Peg Tyre, which is due out in September and will be rereading my other two. Hopefully these books will help me become a more aware parent for both my boys. I always remember my good friend, Tamara Smiley, telling me when I found out that William was going to be a boy that I needed to buy Raising Cain. She wished she had read it sooner because it would have helped her tremendously in raising her son, Miles....he was five at the time and a great kid. That comment has always stuck with me...and I did go out and immediately purchase the book...William was not even born.

Oh and if you want....if any of you have boys.....you can rent the Raising Cain special through Netflix....it was great!

It is worth the read!

Ever since my pregnancy with William I have read books on various topics to gain a better perspective and to self-educate. Most of my friends have done the same. If you were to scan the bookshelf, the books range from pregnancy to birthing methods to sleeping concerns and finally, to discipline methods. The last topic has been of interest in our household since William turned 3 and became more strong-willed as he matured into a boy. I have several books on the topic and have read and re-read them. One book gave me some good insight, but it did not really teach principles or techniques.....it just discussed the difficulties and rewards in raising strong-willed children. And, it normalized my feelings especially regarding parents who don't have strong-willed children and their difficulties in relating to our struggles. A friend of mine here has a strong-willed and energetic 6 year old boy. He is very sweet, extremely intelligent, curious and lots of fun. As a strong-willed child, he, like William tests boundaries, questions and needs to be refocused on a regular basis. His mother noticed a pattern in him when her husband would deploy (which has been VERY regular) and decided to see the staff psychologist.....one of the perks of this unit.....we can see a psychologist, social worker, counselor at any moment for any concern we may be experiencing. It is nice to know support is immediately granted and easily accessible. But enough of that aside.....back to my story. The psychologist recommended the following book:

This book is excellent! I highly recommend it to anyone raising a strong-willed child. It is very enlightening and provides great techniques and methods for how to provide positive discipline, guidance and motivation for parents. It took my back to my graduate school days of family counseling, child counseling, community counseling and social work courses. I realized that I have always had the knowledge and have been doing several of the techniques....I just needed to tweak some things and revisit some other topics. My game plan has always been solid....but improvement is something that we can all work on and strive for better results. Kevin agrees and has skimmed the book (work does keep him quite busy). I have noticed HUGE.....I MEAN TREMENDOUS....results in William. And, I see him beginning to change for me but still push hard with Daddy, which is normal. So if you are struggling with your kids and wondering if there is a better way, please consider this book (a review of the book). It is the best thing I have found and I have read several books. You can also find the book on the left side of my blog, in the section "On my nightstand. What I am currently trying to reading".

Please let me know your thoughts and comments if you have read this book or plan on reading it.

It just wouldn't be the first day of school if SOMETHING did not go wrong......

And it did. William's bus driver got lost dropping him off. I am assuming that he will be the last student dropped off everyday because he was today. School gets out at 2:45PM and I was expecting him home around 3:20-3:30PM, give or take 10 to 15 minutes because Ms. McCrimmon is new to this route and it is the first day back. There are always kinks to work out. Well, at 4:00PM and no bus in sight I called the school. They assured me all was fine and that they were just running late....about 30 minutes late. At 4:15PM the bus arrived and Ms. McCrimmon felt really bad....they had gotten lost. William seemed a bit shell-shocked but said bye. Since we don't live in a neighborhood, the bus stop is our driveway. Oh, and the funny part is that Ms. McCrimmon is also one of William's teachers (he has two in Kindergarten). She felt really bad because he is also her student. Here is our conversation walking to the front door:


Me: Hey buddy! How was school? It is so great to have you home.

William: A bit sullen and with a shocked look on his face....School was OK. The bus ride was terrible. Just terrible.

Me: Why was the bus ride terrible? Did you not like it?

William: Ms. McCrimmon was really lost. We were really far away from my house....like a hundred hour miles. I kept telling her my address...I live at 1969 Airport Road. She just got lost.

Me: Oh, I see. I am glad you are home, buddy. I am sure Ms. McCrimmon knows our house now.

William: Yeah, but the bus ride was terrible.

Oh, and he did have a GREAT first day. He made several friends and I do think he does like Ms. McCrimmon. So it ended on a good note.

Today is the BIG day!

Amazing how four years have gone by. I knew this day would come....every parent knows this day will arrive. I am just AMAZED at how fast it came! My first born has started Kindergarten! It was a big morning in our household! Daddy had a late work call, so he was able to enjoy in this momentous event.

William, surprisingly, awoke quickly and in good spirits. He nibbled at breakfast, but had no problems getting into gear and getting ready for school. We left for school on schedule. On the way into school (Mommy walked William to his room while Daddy stayed with Paulie in the van), William told me he was scared. I reassured him that it was OK to be scared and that was normal. I then told him he was going to have so much fun that when he came home to tell me all about school he would forget about being scared. He seemed OK and we walked on. We arrived at his classroom and a few classmates were there. William went and played with some blocks while I waited to speak with Ms. Reilly. I then went to say goodbye and gave him a big hug to which he replied "By Mom!" Happy and content to stay at school. Daddy met us outside the classroom, peered in and stole one last look at William. He was already making friends and looking at books on the play rug. A perfect send off! We documented the first day....as all parents do. Enjoy the pictures.

With Daddy.....Paulie smiling in the background.

Mommy and her big boy!

William in his classroom....posing no less....amazing what a year brings.

I captured the moment - and the great attitude - and stole a second picture.

Big changes in just one year. This is William's first day last year....he did not want his picture taken. He is growing up!

Sssssshhhhhhh, it's a secret.

Or at least till Dad sees this post!

To help Kevin relax, get his mind off work and spend some time with the family, I am taking us here the weekend of September 12-14th. We will be spending our days here.....

or here.....

or here during the day or night...

and, I am sure the afternoon will be spent here with the kids!

If you must know.....this is the Hilton Beach Resort in Myrtle Beach, SC. Looking forward to getting some sun and family time.


Surprise Daddy!!!!!!!! Best part.....the rooms are FREE!!!!!!!!!!!

They're back......and I don't mean poltergist

I mean the Capozzoli House Rules.



Yup, they have made their way back onto the wall. We had them hanging in the kitchen at our home in Florida and I thought maybe we would not need to put them up in North Carolina. Well, it just makes sense to see them....helps with the consistency for EVERYONE. The rules have changed a bit to reflect the growing and maturation that has occurred....forward progress. And then there are some new rules to reflect the new stages that come along with that forward progress. Always changing, always fun. And everyone can work on improving something (even Mommy and Daddy).



Here are our new rules:



The Capozzoli House Rules:

1. Be respectful of others


2. Do as you are told - complete your chores


3. No back talking


4. No yelling or screaming

5. No naughty words

6. No hitting, pushing, shoving, throwing

7. Be a good listener - follow directions and house rules

8. Do not dawdle

9. No whining

10. Control your emotions


I posted the rules at nighttime and when William awoke the next morning, he instantly noticed them. We decided to wait till after breakfast to review them......most know that William is "not a morning guy" (and I quote from him). I wanted him to be refreshed and awake when we discussed the rules. He said he understood them and also that if he broke them he would be going into timeout. He then felt we needed to add the following rules to the list:

1. No rough house in the bathtub or Paulie could get hurt or drown. (That is true)

2. No coloring on objects. You can color on the color table, paper or the easel.

Good to see he gets the concept and is adding his own....feels like he is contributing to the greater good and the family. Or, this is just what I am telling myself. We'll see.

I can't believe it....already

Tonight is Back to School Night. William is going to see his Kindergarten classroom and meet his teacher, Mrs. Reilly. I can't believe that five years have passed and it is time for him to begin school!?!? I do wonder where the time went and how we have all grown and changed as a family. During the past five years we have moved three times and added baby brother Paul. I am ready for William to start school. Meeting other boys his age and building friendships will help him tremendously. But here is a quick look at the past five years of my first born, my first baby boy love, my first baby.

William at three months of age....December 2003.....big boy.

William at one year of age.....September 2004. Looks the same, still chunky.

William at two years of age...December 2005....still chunky, but getting taller.

William at three years of age....October 2006....just getting taller.

William at four years of age.....finally loosing the baby boy looks.

William today....still four....almost five....still have chubby cheeks, but that is it!

Playlist number 2

I decided to add some songs to our playlist but did not want to delete any old ones. So I just created a second one. This one is a bit more relaxing and low key. Take a look and/or listen and let us know what you think. I will continue to add songs...trying to keep with the general theme....over time. Oh, and don't worry.....my old playlist is still around and may make a comeback.

The perpetual vacation

It occurred to me last week when I was driving William to summer camp that I am, and currently have lived for the past 2 years, in the land of the perpetual vacation. All I saw while driving to camp at 8:30 in the morning were golfers, walking the course, teeing up, hitting their balls, driving in their golf carts, and miles and miles of fairways and greens....on both sides of my car for most of the 15 minute drive to camp. This got me thinking.....I am living where people are constantly vacationing and having the vacationing mindset.....why don't I? I live here....I should have this mindset. That would help me relax so much more if I could constantly think AND FEEL like I do when I am on vacation!!!!!! I mean seriously, this is what I have looked at for the past two years.......



The beach of Destin and Okalossa Island. And, to make matters worse, this is where I grew up. Looking at and constantly driving by the beaches of South Florida, West Palm Beach, Palm Beach, Fort Lauderdale.....you get my point.

This is my new view......golf courses. My view may have changed but my mindset remains the same. It is not the mindset of a vacationer.


And honestly, can you blame me!? This is what I am listening to when I am driving by all the vacationers on the golf courses, at the clubhouses, or in the pools:

William: Mmmmmooooommmmmm!!!!!!! Why can't I play the Wii!!!!!!!! But I want the Wii!!!!!! Mom you are so unfair!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't like you, Mom!!!!!!!!!!! Fine, I'm not going to be a part of this family anymore........pout, pout, pout, pout.

Paul: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Cow! Ball! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Oh, no! NO! NO! NO! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

Me: (in my mind) I am on vacation, sipping my beer on the beach, feeling the breeze and smelling the sea. Yeah, right! You are living your normal life, driving your normal mini-van, listening to your normal children scream and yell in the car.....this is no vacation.....this is normal life.

A walk in the park

This weekend has been a busy one for the Capozzoli Clan. On Friday we held our first sleepover in our new home. William was so excited to have his friends, Aidan and Avery, come stay the night. Mommy Erin brought pizza and we all had fun eating and playing before bedtime. Everyone did really well and all three were asleep by 9:30. Morning came FAST! Mommy made delicious pancakes and we played the morning away. So much fun was had by all that Paulie and William were quite cranky, moody, tired and whinny that a change of location was necessary. So we headed to Reservoir Park for a walk in the woods. Paulie's mood instantly changed and he was a happy little guy out exploring. William, well, he had to be coaxed and prodded into changing his mood. Asking him to be our photographer for the blog did the trick. Here are his pics from our adventure.

I love this shot. It is of a tiny little berry that William felt we needed for the blog. Too cute.

The path in the woods with the reservoir thru the trees. A peaceful walk....with screaming, squealing and running children. I took this shot because William just did not have the height.

A footprint in the sand....if you were wondering.

Look how tall I am, Mom!



Paulie's new favorite way to wear a hat. Surprisingly he can still see and loves to run with his hat on.

A sandy rock that needed to make it's way to the blog.

And a big spider web hidden inside the tree.....William found it and took this picture.

William's walking stick that helps him go faster. Great!

A cute little expression....something that is starting to become rare these days. Usually this is followed by a scream or squeal.

My boys.

Mountain View, CA.....please identify yourself

We recently had a lurker in Victoria, TX and I found out that the lurker was actually a friend of mine living somewhere else yet always registering as Victoria, TX. So that mystery has been solved. However, we now have someone checking us out in Mountain View, CA. I have checked with our friends that live in the area and it is not them.....so we are just curious as to your identity. Please post it for us. Or, if you know us personally, send me an email. Thanks.

Guess where we were last night

Kevin and I have been trying to get to a Jack Johnson concert since he returned from Iraq. Um, that was three years ago (I can't believe it either!) Last night we finally were able to achieve that dream! Kevin and I really started listening to his music during our extended separation....that would be the deployment years. His music seems to have the same effect on both of us.....it is calming, very relaxing and holds us close together in thought....even when separated. Here we are after the concert.




Sara flew up for the concert to enjoy the night with us. We also went with our friend, Erin Roof. Her husband was going to attend too....but then their time for separation came too soon.
We all had a great time.



I took some video of JJ signing some of my favorite songs. My all-time favorite, Better Together, did not make it in this tour....but you can always listen to it on the blog.

What do they put in that?

What do they put in the Magic Eraser to make this thing so amazing??????!!!!!!! Seriously, this thing rocks. I did not worry too much about the kiddos coloring on the floor and walls at Eglin because we lived in government housing and I was going to have to repaint every room anyway when we moved. But here....well, I am a bit paranoid. We have all white walls and the landlord lives across the street. Paulie is way into coloring and sometimes sitting in his highchair just does not cut it anymore. He wants to color on his little table and the easel...and honestly, when he sees William doing it I can't blame him for wanting to be like his big bro. So this morning as usual, Paulie is crying over near the crayons and markers because he wants to color....and well, a small amount of purple marker makes it on the white walls. But, WA-LA, no problem when Magic Eraser is here to scrub it off...and without much elbow grease. Gotta love it!

Just melts your heart

On Tuesday night Kevin had to work late. I gave the boys an early bath. We had finished dinner and Paulie was already in his crib for the night. A good half hour had gone by and William and I were brushing teeth and getting ready for his bedtime. Daddy came home and walked thru the door saying "Hello, I'm home." And, well the rest happened:

Paulie, from in his room, starts chirping...."Da-di, Da-di, Da-di, Da-di...blah, blah, blah"

William runs out of the bathroom and is so excited and says: "Hi Dad, we are brushing teeth. Do you want to play Mario Cart?"

And I say to Dad, "Well, Paulie was sleeping....but he hears you so...."

I go to get Paulie (thinking...Great, how will the rest of the night go)....and he is standing in his crib, pointing to the door, saying "Da-di, Da-di".

I let Paulie out and he runs like a bullet to the front door and practically tackling Kevin.

The three boys snuggle on the couch and I hear Paulie say to William, "No, my Da-di" as he pushes William out of the way. Um, do you think that they miss their father when he is away?!?!

Paulie went back to bed with no problems and slept all night. So did William. This story just touches my heart and I thought Kevin would explode with the love he felt from his guys. Too cute. Oh, and you can't have a post without cute pics. So here are some from yet another coloring episode in the house.

The Army life....Friends 101, Making new ones

As most military wives, military children and other people that move consistently know, making friends seems to be a life-long skill that one never stops working on. As a kid making friends seemed easier....you became friends with the kids that lived next door or down the way. Or, because your mother signed you up for some dance/swimming/sports/YMCA class and you befriended someone....or they befriended you. Or, like in high school, you joined clubs to meet people or knew people from other grades because you all grew up together and it was just known that you were friends. So why it is that when you get older it seems so much harder to make friends? And I am not talking about when you are in your twenties and partying it up in college or recently graduated and starting your first job with a bunch of others just like you. I'm talking about when you are a more mature and settled person. Maybe your a mother, maybe not. Maybe you are a full-time worker. Whatever the case may be, finding people that you WANT to be friends with is hard. Harder than expected.

The military has a way of making you find out who you are and what you want from of your relationships.....any relationship be it friendship or partnership/marriage. But as you get older and more in-tune with yourself you realize that you don't want to settle....not even when it comes to friends. Most military wives are good at sizing up a situation/person and deciding "Is this worth pursuing as a friendship? Or, should they remain as an acquaintance?" If you asked alot of military wives if they had good friends.....I mean trust with your heart, secrets, pets, children friends (these would really be GREAT friends) at every place they lived or currently live, they would probably say they would be lucky if they made just one of those friends.....the rest seem to be acquaintances. You know, the people they spend time with to 1: get out of the house, 2: get their kids out of the house, 3: put off doing housework and other necessary chores, etc.

One would think that because we move so much that making friends would be just like another item on our unpacking list and oh so easy to do....but it is not. It seems to be a process and the older you get the longer that process takes. After several moves you look back and wonder why did it seem easier when......... you fill in the blank (we were newly married, without children, newly pregnant, the kids were younger, etc). And you begin to have a better appreciation for the friendships you developed that are still with you.....the friends that actually care about you, contact you, want to see you, are happy for you....and you feel all these things for them.

So what do you do in the meantime.....when you are waiting for friendships to develop....the GREAT kind not the acquaintance kind? I guess you keep plugging away at it. Hoping that by staying true to yourself and by not settling you will find that friend....one day. And, you keep nurturing the ones you developed and had to leave behind because you moved. I guess I would be in the limbo phase....waiting.....and wanting....but still plugging away at it.

So my friends, where are you? Am I completely off base with this post? Are my thoughts on friendship really out in left field? Let me know. This post has been gnawing and gnawing and gnawing at me until I finally got tired of the running thought and had to put it out there. I am interested in what you think.

Suggestions....anyone

I am in desperate need of a new book and just can't seem to find something that holds my interest. I know many of you bloggers and friends out there are avid book lovers....like me....so please suggest something I would love. Oh, and include a little description about the book if possible. I read just about anything. It just has to grab me from the beginning. Looking forward to what you suggest.

A momentous rite of passage

Sunday we had a momentous rite of passage.....buying back-to-school supplies and clothes. First time that we have actually had to do this!!!!!!! William was VERY excited. We went to dinner first and then hit Wal-mart. William just could not contain himself with excitement and kept adding items that he felt were necessary for his school supplies.....items that were not on the list but oh so necessary. I caved and bought a few extra things like colored pens, extra crayons and glue sticks. We then picked out a really cool lunch box. The handle on his old one broke....so it was time for a replacement. We thought he would pick a Spiderman or Diego backpack.....but in the end he went with his ole' standby....blue. The best was picking out our back-to-school clothes, particularly the shirts. William loved picking his shirts and when I would return to the cart there were several shirts that I had not chosen in the cart. He then would run and try to show Daddy all of his shirts. Daddy was off somewhere else in the store with Paulie. Again, I caved and let him get a special shirt......a Mario Cart shirt. William had to sleep in it last night. Of course Wal-mart did not have the shirt in his size....so he is actually wearing a dress/shirt. He loved it! I tried to get a picture of the shirt....and this is what I got.

Nope, not allowed to take a photo of the shirt until it is old. Once we got home, we did a quickie fashion show for Daddy so he could see all of our shirts. It was a big night in the Capozzoli house.